For what feels like the 50th time today, I got a letter addressed solely to me from one of the boys’ activities. This one was from the music classes they both went to last term. It really annoys me. Every single one of their activities (swimming, playgroup, music etc etc) was set up by E. He did the research, called them up, filled out the forms, and took them along. Occasionally I go along if I happen to be on holidays at the time. So who do they send the letter to? Me! In the case of one of the activities, I have literally never been there, or spoken to anyone involved.
It’s laziness, and if I complained, I’m sure they would think I was being petty, but it’s not petty at all. It should be possible for a man to be the primary carer without having to fight for the status with every single service provider.
Last weekend I spent an hour or so in the ski lodge with my daughter while my husband taught my son. At one point she insisted on french fries and threw a little tantrum when she didn’t get them fast enough: stomped away from me and then threw herself on the floor. I ignored her for a minute. So far that seems to be the best way to handle her tantrums. Anyway, after she’d been on the floor for about 30 seconds, a man ran over to her, soothing her tears and demanding, “Where’s the mom?”
I didn’t realize until I was telling the story later that he instantly assumed that the mom should be there — not a parent but a mom. So strange, coming from a man who was at that very moment taking care of his own children.